1. The new Metroid game being developed by Team Ninja.
2. Receiving that super rare item in Kingdom of Loathing.
3. The fact that Vangie just got completed The World Ends With You and is now playing Final Fantasy 9.
4. The new Fallout game being developed by Obsidian Entertainment (squee!).
5. Gamefly.
6. Web sites with extensive catalogs of sprites I can use for bead art.
7. Video game metal.
8. Free DLC content for NWN2.
9. Having my background in gaming pay off in job prospects.
10. Being able to share my hobby with good friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The year is 1990. George H.W. Bush is in office, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are the biggest thing around, and a young Michael Ridgaway is playing a “A Boy and His Blob” on his recently acquired Nintendo Entertainment System. He is thoroughly perplexed as to how the game should work, and his various tip books and magazines offer only scant pieces of advice. Soon the game will be returned to the video rental store and will go down in his memory as an undefeated enemy, forever to haunt him as a dense and unknowable mystery.

Alright, maybe that’s a little melodramatic, but that game required far more brain power than my little frame, though already incredibly advance and sexy for a seven year old, could muster. In the game, you played a boy exploring the caves beneath your house with your faithful alien friend Blob, an amorphous pile of white goo able to change into a wide variety of objects when fed jelly beans. The end goal of this was to collect treasure so you could buy more jelly beans, then travel to the home world of Blob and defeat the evil tyrant that had taken over the once peaceful planet. The main hitch, however, was that there was no manual, so I had no idea what the jelly beans did and would just spend 10 minutes staring at a room in confounded frustration, only to quickly expire or trap myself when I tried anything. Also, I would get hopelessly lost in these caves, unable to find my way out before I died and had to start over. Throughout the years I sometimes considered going back to it, but there was always something newer and more fun that I would rather play.

So when I heard that Wayforward Technologies was releasing an updated version of the game for the Wii, I saw it as an opportunity to lay some old ghosts to rest and resolve my longstanding grudge with its predecessor.  To be honest, I’m not sure it was worth it, and here’s why:

-I expected this game to be over WAY earlier than it was. From the outset, the game seemed like it would take no more than three or four hours to beat, but that eventually turned into 8-10 hours. By the time that happened I was already involved and wanted to keep going, but all I really desired was to get the damn thing over with.

-Twitchy controls. Nothing can ruin a game like twitchy controls. The boy always seems to be accidentally falling off ledges, hitting spikes or enemies (one hit still kills him), or otherwise mucking up my idea on how to solve the puzzle at hand. Add to that the fact that there are a number of bosses that require quick reflexes, something that the Boy is severely lacking in, and you have a very frustrating situation.

-The Blob is constantly falling behind or getting lost, and to retrieve him the Boy must whistle or call his name three times in a row. This happens every thirty seconds or so, especially in the later levels, and will make you want to stab your ear drums out so you don’t have to listen to it anymore. Imagine if Navi from Ocarina of Time and Baby Mario from Yoshi’s Island had a super annoying kid, and you would have The Boy.

That being said, I will admit there are a few things to recommend this game:

-A lovely visual and musical style. The graphics are whimsical and succeed in evoking childhood memories of the original why while being crisp and colorful. Albeit some of the backgrounds, specifically those of the Blob’s home world, can be a little creepy looking, for the most part the game is quite pretty to look at. Additionally, the music is quite well orchestrated and tailored to fit each stage, from soothing melodies for the early, slow-paced, forest levels to up-tempo, vivacious allegros for levels where the Boy is zooming around in a bubble or on a rocket.

-A much improved learning scale. In this version, the Boy receives an infinite amount of jelly beans, but certain jelly beans are only available in certain stages. Along with a description of what each bean does, this allows the player to learn and practice with each of the Blob’s abilities without worrying about the immediate threat of failure or death. Additionally, helpful signs placed throughout the game instruct players when a certain type of bean might be helpful, which is especially useful when a new bean is introduced or when the player is stuck.

-Lots of extra stages. I wasn’t really in the mood for these, but for fans of puzzle platformers I’m sure this is a welcome feature. Each main story stage features three treasure chests, and finding them all will unlock a bonus puzzle stage, effectively doubling the amount of play time.

-Two awesome final stages. I was really ticked off when I found out there were some additional main story stages after the end boss, but was relieved when I found out that I was suddenly in possession of the JELLYBEAN OF DOOM. It was a nice way to end the game and kept me from being completely disappointed by having to commit more time to a game I thought was done.

So overall, I think this is a good game, but maybe just not one for me. Fans of the original and/or fans of puzzle platformers will probably love it despite its flaws, so if this describes you I’d advise you to go ahead and give the game a try. Otherwise you might want to skip this one, because the sound of that kid’s voice is going to drive you insane after a while.

Little King’s Story is a Pikmin-esque minion management game where you, as Little King Corobo, build your kingdom and lead your people in conquest as you seek to take over the entire world. Standing in your path are puzzles, monsters, and seven other kings, all challenging you for the right to rule. Now I could say something  over-the-top about how Little King’s Story is the best game you won’t play this year, or that you should go out and buy it immediately, but I won’t (although those two things are completely true). What I will say is this: the development team behind LKS must have loved this project, and that love is clearly evident and makes the game a joy to play.

I was hesitant at first, because from the box and disc art LKS looks like another cutesy WII game and such games have a tendency to be terrible or great. My fears however were quickly put to rest as the game opened with beautiful hand-painted cinematic and a wonderful rendition of Ravel’s Bolero. Vangie, unfortunately for her, happened to be in the room with me at the time, and thus received the full force of my geekgasm as I proceeded to bounce up and down with glee at hearing one of my favorite pieces in a videogame. The game only got better from there, as I found all the cinematics to be done in the same rich style, with the normal gameplay graphics being lush and bright. This went well with the game’s child-like atmosphere, as the visuals perfectly captured the brightness and vivid colors of a child’s drawing.

AND THE MUSIC! If you’ll excuse me, I believe will be a bit over-the-top here. Ravel’s Bolero was only the beginning, as the entire game is filled with updated versions of classical pieces. Even if you are not a fan of classical music, many of the pieces will at least sound familiar to you and are guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Whether it’s battling your way through the Ripe Kingdom (lots of food there) to the tune of La Donna é Mobile or the fast and frantic battle with King Jumbo Champloon with a remixed can-can playing in the background, the music accentuates the whimsical and bright nature of the game wonderfully. Even if you don’t play the game, go check out the soundtrack; it’s worth it.

Alright Michael…take a deep breath…..aaaaaaaaaaaand good. Sorry, just had to get all of that stuff about LKS’s music out. Moving on, the game plays well, although the first couple of hours are a little dry. At first the game seems like a pretty cut-and-dry Pikmin clone: you have a few different types of citizens with different abilities and you lead them around collecting stuff and beating up monsters. After this however, the game expands greatly, opening up new areas and allowing you to grow your kingdom, level-up your character, and complete sidequests. There’s a lot of stuff to explore, however I should mention that many of the sidequests are nearly identical monster hunts. Still, LKS offers a more expansive world and opportunities for customizing yourself and your kingdom than many similar games (Overlord 2, I’m looking at you).

Some of the game mechanics can prove to be a little frustrating, though. Sometimes your army, especially when it grows above 15 people or so,  has trouble following you, forcing you to go back and collect people who accidentally fall off ledges and cannot reach you. Also, selecting the proper unit involves cycling through every available class, a major pain if you’re trying to command your soldiers to attack a boss for the few seconds it is vulnerable. Overall, however, the game plays pretty smoothly, with combat and exploration being fairly easy to master, even if there are a few flaws.

Oh, and did I mention this game is totally on crack? Because it’s totally on crack. Take the weirdness of Katamari Damacy, crank it up a notch, and you’ll have a good idea what you’re in for in LKS. It’s a wonderful weirdness though: half child’s imagination and half crazy fever dream. If you don’t believe me, just check this boss intro out. Yes, the guy with the TV head is the boss, and to beat him you must dig up the appropriate spot on a map of the world (the REAL world, not the in-game one) based on hints he gives you. It’s actually one of the more innovative boss battles I’ve encountered recently.

So to sum up, Little King’s Story is a game with a few technical flaws, but these flaws are more than made up for by the game’s breathtaking art, music, fun gameplay, and general quirkiness. In an era of big-name blockbuster games, it was really refreshing to see something new and unexpected come out and be so wonderful. As I mentioned before, it’s clear that the people behind LKS loved this game, and that’s something that will make you love it all the more.

Cursed Mountain is a third-person survival horror game for the Nintendo Wii. In it you play as mountain climber Eric Simmons on a search to find his brother, Frank, recently lost while climbing the mountain Chomolonzo. Soon, however, Eric finds the mountain has been placed under a curse, causing the ghosts of the dead to rise from their graves and attack the living. Even more disturbing, it seems that Frank is at the root of this trouble, and the only way to solve the mystery is to climb to the summit of the mountain to find him.

It’s been a while since I played a survival horror game that wasn’t a Resident Evil, so this game piqued my interest. Cursed Mountain isn’t bad, but it’s got a few flaws that prevent it from being great. First, the pros:

-A genuinely spooky atmosphere of decaying cities, abandoned monasteries, and isolated mountain outposts enhanced by a soundtrack comprised of howling wind, ghostly moans/sobbing/chanting, and echoing caverns.

-An interesting plot that keeps the player wondering just what exactly is going on (as opposed to in RE5 where I just wanted them to hurry up and tell me what horrible new virus Umbrella came up with THIS time).

-Fixed camera angles and a character without superhuman muscles or reflexes (great for fans of the old school RE’s) that greatly enhance the horror aspect.

-An interesting array of holy weapons with infinite ammo (yay!).

-Lots of nooks and crannies to explore with power ups and notes that fill out the game’s plot

Now for the bad:

-Controls. While actions performed by the buttons on the Wii remote work fine, combat situations require you to make certain motions to banish ghosts and certain puzzles also require movement of the remote. The directions on how to perform these movements are often unclear, and sometimes movements do not seem to register at all. Very frustrating.

-Graphics. While it’s a given that graphics on the Wii are generally not as impressive as those on the Xbox360 or PS3, the graphics of Cursed Mountain seem like a throwback to the PS2 era. Resident Evil 4 had better graphics, and that game is over 4 years old.

-Slightly offensive support characters. Apart from Eric, Frank, and a few other westerners, most of the cast are local villagers or holy people. Each one speaks in exaggerated broken English, as if they were extras in a bad kung fu movie. Particularly painful was Jomo Menmo, a local shaman who's every bit of dialogue screamed "CRAZY OLD CAVE LADY" with all the subtlety of a Michael Moore movie.

-Eric Simmons is the WORST MOUNTAIN CLIMBER EVER. Alright, so Cursed Mountain is a game, and it’s silly for me to expect that it exactly mirror real life, but seriously, it’s a miracle the main character can even summit a small hill. He has no visible supplies, climbs only with an ice axe (no safety gear is ever seen), and makes a habit of peering curiously over cliffs into crevasses which he Is inevitably knocked into. “Oh look, a crack in the mountain! Well, demons and ghosts have been attacking me this entire time, but I’m sure they’ll leave me alone while I get dangerously close to this edge!”

-Plotholes. The ending left a few strings untied, a personal pet peeve.

Overall, Cursed Mountain is a pretty good game, but don’t expect anything spectacular out of it. If you enjoy survival horror you’ll probably enjoy this, but otherwise you might want to skip it. Either way, remember, if you ever go climbing, try not piss off the mountain spirits if you can avoid it.

Hey all, Mike Ridgaway here with a question for you, is anyone out there playing Kingdom of Loathing? For those of you who have never heard of it, KoL is a browser-based RPG filled with stick figures, sarcasm, and booze. It’s super fun, and I’ve been curious about whether anyone here at GameCola or in its audience is a fan. If you’re not already playing, go give it a look. If you are, feel free to give me a buzz; my name character name is Gildon Dancypants.

First and foremost, my apologies for not posting this earlier, but I thought the entire site was down until the new site goes live. However, it would appear that the blog is working, so I can still keep the loyal GameCola fanbase (i.e. our moms) entertained until then. Huzzah!

Anyway, I'm sure most of you out there are familiar with, or have at least heard of, Lewis Black. For those of you who aren't he's a very talented comedian known for his angry and insightful rants, sort of like what I try to do here except, you know, funny. Well, he has a particular one about candy corn that I find applies to many of the games I play. To paraphrase, Mr. Black despises candy corn because, despite the fact that the name implies tastiness, candy corn is a vile tasting confection foisted upon the world  every Halloween. Due to the fact that it is only present once a year, people forget that candy corn tastes like tainted earwax and, upon seeing it displayed, will start eating, only to be reminded once again that candy corn is a hideous affront to all that is sugary and good. This annual cycle continues indefinitely, as we are all far too forgetful and trusting when it comes to things labeled "candy."

Well, the same thing happens with me and certain games where I will: (1) start playing, (2) get bored/frustrated, (3) turn the game off, swearing to never touch it again. A few hours later, however I seem to have forgetten all about the bad parts and I turn the game on again, only to be quickly reminded why I turned it off in the first place. This cycle repeats until I either beat the game, force myself to get rid of it, or have Vangie take it away from me. The most recent example of this was Tales of the Abyss, for the PS2. I had enjoyed Tales of Symphonia on the Gamecube, so I thought I would try this out. YE GODS is this game annoying. The characters are a bunch of completely unrelatable and infuriatingly annoying aristocrats with voices that left me doing all I could to cover my ears and skip any movie scenes. Magic and religion in the game is based on sound, called "Fonistry" or "Fonics," and nearly every other word that comes out of the characters' mouths is "fon-this" or "fon-that." Seriously, just watch an episode of The Smurfs and replace the word "smurf" with "fon" and you'd be pretty close to what's going on here. Lastly, the most egregious sin this game commits is having a railroad plot that will shuffle you along the game's plot points regardless of whether you're ready. And if you try to go back and get some stuff done, too bad! Odds are the quest could only be done at the specific time, and now you're screwed.

Despite the psychological wounds inflicted by these design flaws, I would end up playing it a few times a day, each time forgetting that Tales of the Abyss was about as enjoyable as having teeth pulled. I'm not sure exactly how I forget that between each play session, but somehow every few hours I would gleefully turn on the game, expecting nothing but good times and fun. Just like candy corn, though, the only thing that awaited me was frustration and disappointment.

No, this isn\'t a post about my anger about my eventual sentence to the lower reaches of Hell for all of my earthly transgressions (I\'ve already accepted that as an unavoidable fact), this a rant about the new game Damnation by Blue Omega studios. I was interested in this game for a while, ever since I actually applied to Blue Omega for a job (they\'re based in Central Maryland). They never called, so I decided that Damnation would be a test as to whether I should have been about this fact.

YE GODS, THIS GAME IS TERRIBLE.

Seriously, I feel like I dodged a bullet with this one. In Damnation, Blue Omega takes a potentially interesting setting, a post-apocalyptic steam-punk Civil War America, and introduces terrible third person combat and platforming mechanics. The controls and difficulty are so incredibly unbalanced and poorly designed that I wasn\'t even able to get past the first freaking level. If a game wants to be successful, it has to abide by three very simple concepts:
1. Easy to learn
2. Difficult to master
3. Addictive
Damnation succeeds in none of these things, and you would think one of the QA testers would have pointed out some of the flaws, especially those that are evident AS SOON  AS THE PLAYER BEGINS THE GAME. Seriously, do not buy/rent/play this game, it\'s not worth it.  And Blue Omega? I\'ve got a riddle for you. Who has two thumbs and is very glad he doesn\'t work for you?

This guy.

As some you know, this past weekend I went up to Philadelphia to participate in the 2009 Pokemon Video Game Championships. Essentially it's a big tournament where Pokemon trainers face off against each other in two divisions, junior and senior, with the winners going to the Nationals in St. Louis. It was supposed to be a really fun event, but a new development in this year's rules made the whole thing pretty disappointing. This year, instead of letting everyone participate, they had entrants sign up and then randomly chose 128 people to participate in each division. This wouldn't have been so bad if around 256 people had attended, but as it happened NEARLY 600 PEOPLE SHOWED UP FOR THE SENIORS DIVISION ALONE.

Needless to say at this point, I didn't get in, but that's not what has me angry. What really ticks me off about this is the fact that people came from as far away as MILWAUKEE and didn't get in. All in all, this was just a really poor way to handle an event like this. They could have AT LEAST set up some sort of online registration where participants were chosen ahead of time so people wouldn't have had to waste time and money on travel. And don't tell me Nintendo can't afford the expenses associated with a bigger event or planning ahead: they're making money hand over fist right now. Nintendo, if you want to do a Pokemon tournament do it right, otherwise contract it out to someone else who will. This is no way to treat the fans of one of your most popular franchises.

This will be a short one because you're either with me or against me on this and I doubt any amount of arguing will help. Yesterday in GameFAQ's "Best. Game. Ever." contest (GameFAQ's contests really are fertile ground for my anger) Final Fantasy VII beat Chrono Trigger. No. Just no. Final Fantasy VII, while an interesting game, is no where near the level of Chono Trigger. Hell, Chrono Trigger is best game Squaresoft ever produced. I don't know whether these people have never played CT or are just idiots, but something is fundamentally WRONG here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think my brain just vomited. I should probably go to a hospital.

Anyone who's listened to the GC Podcast or talked to me for even a few minutes since last October knows my opinion on Fallout 3: an excellent but fundamentally flawed game. One of my biggest problems with the game is the ending, but apparently in the new DLC expansion Broken Steel the finale has been completely changed. I won't spoil the plot for anyone with specifics, but essentially they made all the plot changes I was griping for and allow you to continue after finishing the main story quest.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to feel about this. On one hand, I'm glad to hear that BethSoft has finally fixed what was one of the biggest problems with the game and I feel validated in my assertions about the game's ending. On the other hand, I feel ripped off that, if I want to actually play the game AS IT SHOULD HAVE ORIGINALLY BEEN RELEASED, I need to pay extra. It's quite a racket BethSoft has going on here: releasing incomplete products then charging you outrageous sums of money for the fixes and marginal expansions to the game. I remember a time when an expansion to a game was a whole game within itself, not just little bit of tweaking here and there. Call me a luddite, but I remember those day quite fondly.

I haven't purchased any of the expansions yet, nor do I plan to do so until they package them together with a price cut. There was a time when tempation would have driven me to get download them as soon as they came out, but between my stubborness and GameFly (mainly GameFly) I think I should be able to hold out. Not to mention that, at least until June 6, I have bigger fish to fry.

Hey everyone, I'm going to try out a new little blog series I've entitled "The Anger Dome." Essentially, it's me ranting about a topic that has proved particularly provoking to my ire. Today's topic: Portal vs. MGS4 in the GameFAQS "Best. Game. Ever." contest.

If you're not familiar with the contest, it's essentially a huge popularity contest where visitors to the site vote for which of the four games featured that day are the best. The top two move on to the next bracket, and then 4 new games are featured. Yesterday the contest was between BioShock, Little Big Planet, Metal Gear Solid 4, and Portal. When I visited the site yesterday I said to myself "Ah, well surely Portal will win, it's as near a perfect game as I've ever seen." So consider my surprise when, after voting, I see that MGS4 has a huge lead over it. Portal still advanced to the next round, but only barely, with MGS4 winning nearly 50% percent of the vote.

This is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I played MGS4, and I sealed it up and sent it back to GameFly after half an hour. The game is simply not fun. First off, Snake is OLD. Someone might want to tell Kojima this, but somehow trying to sneak around as an old person with obvious health problems kind of kills the whole coolness factor. I kept feeling like I was going to break his fucking hip. Secondly, they tried to do too much with the combat and sneaking systems, so much so that both felt clunky and underdeveloped. Focus on one or the other and make them really good, but don't make me choose between two crappy alternatives when I want to play. Finally, after sending it back, I checked the plot summary on Wikipedia just to stifle any curiousity I had. Ugh, Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ. The story has plot twists that would make even M. Night Shaymalamadingdong cringe. Seriously, when did the developers decide to just stop making any sense? I'm guessing it was around the time of MGS2, when they made the GENIUS decision to make you play as Raiden for 2/3 of the game.

On the other hand we have Portal, sweet magnificent Portal. The game featured a brilliant new mechanic, great music, a great story, and superb voice-work. Also, it never felt tiring; as soon as the portal mechanic felt like it was starting to get old the game was over. The timing worked out perfectly, yet there are some people out there who claim the game was too short. HEY DUMBASSES, if you're playing videogames to waste time, by all means go play something like MGS4. If, however, you'd like a game that is an actual enjoyable experience, maybe you should take your heads out of your asses and try Portal again. It was the first game in a long time that just made me smile while playing and afterwards left me feeling like I had broadened my horizons. I see Portal as one of the few games that can qualify as a work of art, not just a video game. Yet somehow, SOMEHOW, people compared the two and found MGS4 to be better. Are you kidding me? Are these people completely brain dead? It's like saying you prefer the new Star Wars trilogy to Battlestar Galactica just because of love for the original Trilogy. Well guess what, the new trilogy is shit and Battlestar Galactica has set the standard for modern sci-fi; the same is true for MGS4, Portal, and modern action/adventure games.

Before yesterday I thought Portal might go all the way in the GameFAQs challenge, but now with my faith in humanity completely shattered I seriously doubt that will happen. Judging from the predictions page it will most likely be MGS4, Final Fantasy VII, or Ocarina of Time. Hopefully the winner be the latter. If not, I may have to hurt someone.

So Vangie Got me a kit of Perler Beads for Christmas, and between those and others I've bought I've started decorating a wall of our living with bead sprites. Oh yeah, I'm that fucking cool.

HI-larious.

The sad thing is, if I actually saw that, I'd probably turn around immediately and start preparing for the coming zombie apocalypse.

Last week I experienced my first MAGFest (Music and Gaming Festival) and as the only representative of GameCola in attendance I thought I’d give a rundown of my time there. Unfortunately I was sick most of last week, so I only spent Saturday evening there. Still here’s the (very) quick and dirty:

6:00 p.m. – I arrive at MAGFest, and instantly get lost among the various rooms, booths, and gaming machines. I spend the next ten minutes wandering the interminable halls of the Alexandria Mark Hilton look for the registration table.

6:10 p.m. – After picking up my badge, I begin to look for my friends. It is at this point I learn that most of them had left a few hours earlier. Cursing ensues.

6:30 p.m. – Catch The Megas encore performance in the Jam Space. This was a pleasant surprise as I had been really disappointed about missing their show on Thursday. Their brand of Mega Man 2 rock is, as expected, delightful.

7:15 p.m. – I hit the merch tables and am glad I set a spending limit. I buy a Super Mushroom plush toy, a Megas poster, and a fan-made River City Ransom movie (more on that once I get a chance to watch it).  I am initially impressed by the amount of old-school games on sale, but this turns to disappointment as I realize the quality of what is being sold (5 copies of Shaq Fu? Ha!). There are also some neat shirts, but none up to my standards.

7:45 p.m. – Meet some fellow Pokemon fans, including a battler. We start talking shop and are about to throw down when he gets pulled away to take part in Super Art Fight. Apparently he does a surfing webcomic and he gives me his card so we can get together later.

8:00 p.m. – I check out the first band of the night, Arm Cannon in the concert hall, but I’m disappointed that they’re not playing videogame music. I duck out.

8:15 p.m. – I peruse the Gaming Room and watch some guys playing a demo for Street Fighter 4. MAGFest having this demo was supposed to be a big deal, but I just didn’t get it. It looks absolutely the same as it did 12 years ago, and I was not a fan even then.

8:40 p.m. – I decide to give Arm Cannon another shot (get it?) once I hear they’re doing VG rock and go check them out. They’re so good, I use what little money I have left to get a CD.

9:15 p.m. – The next band, Smash Bros., starts playing. I expected awesomeness on par with the game of the same name, but their sound is kind of bland. I again duck out.

9:30 p.m. – I meet up with my webcomic friend from before, and we decide to have a battle. We get Pokemon Battle Revolution going on one of the big screens and Pokemon fans starting coming out of the woodwork. I have some great battles and end with a record of 3 wins – 1 loss.

10:45 p.m. – I catch the final band of the night, Metroid Metal. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s awesome. If you’ve never heard of it before, go to their site and start downloading. It’s all free!

11:30 p.m. - I wander about aimlessly as I wait for the Late Night Trivia Contest, which will be my final event before heading home.

11:50 p.m. - I get to the Trivia Contest early to make sure I get a spot. I’m one of the first to sign up.

12:00 p.m. – The people running the trivia game decide to wait for last year’s winners, the people who run the Captain S, website to show up. I wait patiently as I love trivia, and have been looking forward to this since I arrived. No instructions are given as to where contestants should be or when they should come up.

12:30 p.m. – The Captain S people finally arrive, and the coordinators of the contest have lost control, so they pick a bunch of random people from the audience to compete along with whoever had been sitting in the front row with the Captain S people. I get pissed. When the crowd is asked if they’re ready I yell “FUCK YOU” among the cheers and walk out.

12:35 p.m. – I leave, quite bitter and angry.

12:50 p.m. – Just to add insult to injury, I get lost in the infernal nexus that is Washington D.C. I hate Washington D.C.

And there you have it, my first MAGFest experience. As you may have guessed, I’m still rather sore about that last bit, but everything up until then was pretty good. Heck, I even met some new Pokemon players. Depending on my schedule I’ll try to hit it up next year, but I swear: if I’m muscled out of trivia again someone will be CUT.

Received an e-mail from my brother showing how to draw Square Enix characters. It is incredibly accurate.