I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but 2009 is over. Like, there will be no more 2009. Ever again. Well, until the year 12009, but I'm not sure we'll be able to get the whole GameCola crew to do another podcast then.

Right; podcast. That's what I'm writing about. Michael Ridgaway, Zach Rich, Justin Luschinski, Alex Jedraszczak, Colin Greenhalgh, and sometimes Vangie Rich and Michael Gray all got together for a podcast to ring out the old year and bring in the New Year, which you know is gonna be better 'cuz it's written with Capital Letters.

Mega Man 10. Muffins. Dragon Age. Talking to a woman like she's a dog. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. A cat attack. God of War III. Halo: Reach. Singing. This podcast has it all, and you listen to it while Michael Gray entertains you with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on the GameCola YouTube channel. Or, you could just stick around a while and check it out here:

When Michael and Paul got together to record Podcast #18: Michael and Paul's Excellent Adventure, they found themselves getting off-topic a lot. So much, in fact, that when they cut all the off-topic stuff out of the podcast, there was enough leftover to make a whole new podcast. So they did, and you're listening to it right now.

The GameCola higher-ups decided to call this podcast Off-Topic #1, instead of The GameCola Podcast #19, for two reasons:

1) To allow for more future podcasts that are just cobbled together from leftover podcast clips, and

2) Because the rest of the staff would be mad if GameCola allowed Michael and Paul to have two entire podcasts to themselves again.

Here's what you get to listen to in this podcast:

• Intro (0:00 - 1:54)
• GameCola columns and writers (1:54 - 6:17)
• Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials (6:17 - 15:17)
• Audio books, and the people who read them (15:17 - 17:40)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Turtles Forever crossover special (17:40 - 21:17)
• Anime, because Michael and Paul know a lot about it (21:17 - 23:38)
• Mega Man's family and follies (23:38 - 27:27)
• Paul's notes for Podcast #18 (27:27 - 28:44)
• The Gates of Life in the new GameCola (28:44 - 30:23)
• GameCola on YouTube and Facebook (30:23 - 34:27)
• GameCola on Wikipedia and TVTropes (34:27 - 36:10)
• Outro (36:10 - 36:36)

Michael and Paul recorded a top-secret podcast. Normally, podcast topics are things that I know nothing about and can't relate to at all, such as the PS3 price cut, and what games I've been playing recently. This time, when the topics are things I'm actually knowledgable about, such as the adventure game Deja Vu and the first three cases of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and anime and former staff writers whose articles I've actually read, they decide to hold a clandestine podcast and not invite me.

Bitterness dictates that I should burn down the Internet in rage, but I am contractually obligated to share this fun podcast with you, the way podcasts were meant to be listened to: on video. To help hold your attention, or possibly to confuse you, Michael silently plays Nancy Drew: It's Really Freakishly Cold Outside during each video.

Watch it, and petition them to invent a time machine so I can join in:



Furthermore, if you have no idea what this "Deja Vu" game is that they keep talking about, take a look at Michael's walkthrough-quality run of the GBA version and/or Paul's run of the NES version, where he does everything wrong and still somehow manages to beat the game. We love both versions.






Also, I have ulterior motives for making you watch the Deja Vu videos... bwahaha! (You'll just need to wait and see! BwaHAha!)

Hot off the presses, everyone! GameCola's Head Editor Paul Franzen recently sent out a staff email, wondering if GameCola needs a new slogan.

QUOTE: It's been suggested recently that we come up with a new tagline for the site, because, as some people put it, just saying "videogame humor" is "total yawnsville." So I'm opening the floor up to suggestions. END QUOTE

Well, obviously, Paul doesn't remember the results of The Great GameCola Slogan Contest that I personally presided over last year:

http://www.gamecola.net/7-11/pimpmycola.htm

We had a number of great slogans (my favorite comes from Meteo--"GameCola: GameCola"), but apparently it's time for more. Maybe slogans like...

• GameCola: Don't Worry; We're Not Dead.
• GameCola: Total Yawnsville
• GameCola: Not GamePepsi
• GameCola: Eagerly Awaiting High School Musical 4.
• GameCola: Blasted Mooooooooooon People!
• GameCola: You Have Died of Dysentery

Any of you blog readers have good ideas?

The title about sums things up, but I'm unnaturally verbose, so I've gotta talk about this at least a little bit. We've got a podcast of Paul Franzen, Matt Jonas, Nathaniel Hoo--erm, me, Michael Gray, and Lizo Medina-Gray talking about videogames, etc. whilst somebody plays the SNES game Krusty's Super Fun House in the background. 'Cuz, you know, it wouldn't be much of a video if you didn't have anything to look at.

Well, now you've got something to look at.



This podcast was recorded individually by each participant and then edited together; things we discuss include the PlayStation 3 price cut, what makes licensed games good/bad, and what games we're playing now. Things we do NOT discuss include why the audio quality of one of my segments suddenly turns to junk.

Good news, all: We recorded another podcast this week, and we might just have it ready for you before the end of the month so that our commentary is still relevant. Maybe.

Assuming Michael doesn't edit my voice out of the final cut of the podcast, you'll hear me mention a website called The Backloggery, where you can keep track of every game you own and how many games you've actually beaten. It's neat to see exactly how much of your collection you've played through, and there are a lot of bonus features as well, so I'd say it's worth a visit:

http://www.backloggery.com/

And if you're stalking me and want to know what kinds of video game(s) I play other than Mega Man (if any), you can check out my personal backloggery:

http://www.backloggery.com/Flashman85

The next bit of news is about the GameCola YouTube channel: Due to copyright infringement concerns, we've removed every trace of Paul Franzen's work from the channel, because everyone knows he just steals everyone else's work and takes credit for it.

Wait, no, that's not it.

We just removed the Interactive Vision playthroughs--the edutainment ones with Disney and Sesame Street footage--so don't expect any more of those any time soon. However, rumor has it that there's a YouTube channel called GCIntVis that contains strikingly similar videos, so maybe you can get your fix there.

This means that we're short on new content this week for the official GameCola channel, but I'll hopefully be able to finish the next Flash Flood video in the next few days, in which I play a Flash game very poorly and disguise my lousy skill with my charming personality. Stay tuned.

This'll be a busy week for the GameCola YouTube page, folks; here's a heads-up of what's there, and tidings of the rubbish to come.

I mean, uh, great stuff.

The next round of videos are ready for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Episode 5: Rise from the Ashes: This Title Is Too Long. One or two new videos from the set will go up each day for the rest of the week. Take a gander at what we've got so far:



Also available is the first half of The GameCola Podcast #15, sequel to The GameCola Podcast #14, in which a whole bunch of yahoos from the staff get together to play the Nintendo DS game Drama Queens.

Unfortunately, we don't actually get to see any of the gameplay because it's a podcast, and you can't see words. Instead, you're treated to oversized pictures of an oversized cheeseburger, Paul Franzen, and other staff members. Normally I would name the other staff members who participated, but the way the previous sentence is worded, there's a much greater chance you'll think I'm calling Paul Franzen an oversized cheeseburger, which is funny.

Come hither and listen to the ridiculousness:

In case the most recent (read: ancient) Dear Readers column on the main page didn't convince you that GameCola is not dead, we now have a video providing decisive evidence that GameCola, in fact, continues to not be dead. Watch for yourself:



Additionally, Zach Rich dubbed his voice over a video of some college kid drinking coffee or something.

Story Title: Writer\'s Block
Story Category: GameCola Fanfiction
Story Type: Angst

---

Sweat poured down Paul\'s forehead as he stared at his computer screen. His Word document for The Gates of Life was still blank.

\"Paul, are you still up?\"

Paul turned his head to see Lizo standing there with a worried look on her face.

\"It\'s past midnight. It\'s time to go to bed.\"

\"I have to finish the Gates of Life,\" Paul said.

\"You can do it tomorrow.\"

\"NO!\" Paul shouted, his frustration getting the better of him. \"I was supposed to have it done LAST WEEK! You know I have to write it early so Kate can get the pictures in on time!\"

Lizo frowned. She hated to see Paul like this. \"Well...don\'t stay up too late.\"

Paul turned back to his computer. The screen was still blank.

Curse his writer\'s block.

Writing The Gates of Life every other month was the hardest thing Paul ever had to do. Sure, some people said it looked like he wrote down whatever random crap popped into his head, like, flying polar bears or whatever, but nothing could be further from the truth. Paul poured his soul into every edition of Gates of Life. His SOUL. It was his baby, his child, his very meaning for existence.

And now...it was nothing.

\"WHAT\'S THE POINT?!\" Paul felt like screaming. All this work, all this frustration, all for a column that only three people read...the three people who worked on The Gates of Life.

Paul needed a distraction, so he opened up his GameCola email. No new mail, except...

Crap.

An email from Kate, Subject: The Gates of Life Pictures

Here it was. An angry email from Kate, yelling at him for not being done yet. Calling him an incompetent Head Editor, a horrible writer, a hopeless fool, and whatever nasty insults she could come up with, because Kate, unlike Paul, didn\'t have the Writer\'s Block to End All Writer\'s Block.

His hand trembling, Paul clicked the mouse and opened the email.

Hey Paul, here are the pictures for this month\'s Gates of Life! Matt said he\'ll send you the finalized story tomorrow. -Kate

Paul blinked. What? But it was May! What was Kate thinking?

Oh...that\'s right. Even though it was May, he was writing for the June issue. So it WAS Matt\'s month! Paul didn\'t have to write anything! The Gates of Life would continue!

Paul put his head down on the keyboard and cried for a long, long time.

We recorded a podcast yesterday (one that I'm kinda scared to listen to because I was apparently R-rated last night), and I learned three things. One, I need to watch The Wizard because it is the most awesome movie ever.  Two, Michael Ridgaway and Paul Franzen need to hurry up and propose to their respective girlfriends, because my mom says that if a guy doesn't have the guts to propose in two to three years, you should dump him.  And three, we here at the GameCola podcast never coordinate about topics.

For some reason, all the topics we picked were topics that not all of us knew about. When Michael G. and Zach Rich talked about Banjo-Kazooie, Michael R. was silent. When Michael R. and Zach Rich talked about Pokemon, Michael G. twiddled his thumbs. When Michael G. and Michael R. talked about Final Fantasy VI, Zach Rich fell asleep.

And it's not just last night's podcast either.  When I planned the podcast, I figured we should have an in-depth discussion of a game.  I didn't want to pick a game that someone hadn't played, so I gave everyone three options.

1. Phoenix Wright, because I just finished playing it.
2. Banjo-Kazooie, because it's awesome, and I knew Zach was going to be on the podcast.
3. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which is the one I wanted to talk about, but I gave the option of talking about the other games so I would look less like a control freak.

And it turned out that Paul Franzen, Mr. GameCola himself, hasn't played Ocarina of Time (which is an even greater travesty than the fact that I haven't played Super Metroid yet. YET!). So instead of following my original plan, we started a Phoenix Wright series which quickly devolved into a discussion of which Phoenix Wright characters should date each other. And, of course, get married within two to three years of dating. Hint, hint.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we here at the podcast need some sort of coordinating system. Maybe we should bring back the top-ten favorite videogames list, or have everyone turn in an unofficial "games/topics I'm able to talk about" list, so we can better coordinate topics based on who's participating in the podcast.

Or we'll just wing it like we always do because we're lazy.

Today, in 2002---when I was a junior in high school---I created the mailing list that would become the newsletter we all know and love.

This is something I was hoping to include in the 2008 awards article, but that article already had too many words. So here it is, instead. It's a blog exclusive!