So I was flipping through the San Jose Mercury News in order to see the comics, when I found an E3 Day One Recap (the Mercury News has shrunk to only three sections), and I thought I could get a blog post out of their column on E3.  Basically, they say three things happened at E3:

1. Double Fine Productions is Doing Something

Personally, I'm still a little miffed at how Double Fine totally ignored my resume, so I skipped over that part.

2. Beatles Rock Band

The Beatles reunited at E3 to promote Beatles Rock Band. This was the biggest picture in the article, becase most newspaper readers are over sixty.  Paul McCartney and his buddy Ringo Starr (who, I presume, wrote the song "There was a farmer had a dog / and Ringo was his name-o / R I N G O! / R I N GO") sang some sort of song together.  I am guessing that they did not use Rock Band instruments.

3. Project Natal

Not happy enough with the Beatles, Microsoft also brought out Steven Spielberg to promote Project Natal: their 3D motion sensor camera. "This is not about reinventing the wheel," Spielberg said.  "This is about having no wheel at all."  Spielberg, of course, is an old pro at driving without wheels, if anything is to be gathered from Indy IV.

The article went on to say that "Other companies have started to build on the idea of having gamers interact with games using natural movements and gestures, rather than punching buttons. Gamers can play Electronic Arts' 'Rock Band' and Activision's 'Guitar Hero'".  Yes, that's right.  Guitar Hero is a prime example of game which does not involve punching buttons in any way, shape, or form.

Yesterday, I went back to campus to give someone a birthday present, and I finally got to see this phenomenon known as "Guitar Hero Rock Band".  Apparently, it involves pressing five buttons when the screen tells you to.  Sort of like Dance Dance Revolution or various "follow the pattern" minigames we've seen over the years.  Only it comes with a fake guitar, which looks kinda cool.

Not only is there a guitar, but there's also a drum set to play, just like in Nancy Drew (at 4:30) or Donkey Konga.  Finishing off the band is the guy on a microphone, although I'm not sure what the microphone does.

I recognized about two of the songs they had on the set list, but that's to be expected, because I've only heard of those famous rock bands like Metallica and Areasmith and Rage Against the Machine and, um...the Beatles.  I know they exist, and that they're famous, but I have no idea what songs they play. So I wasn't a big fan of the song selections, but like I said, that was to be expected.

In conclusion, Guitar Hero Rock Band is an okay game, but it's not the game for me.  I'll stick to playing piano for my music fix. I might look into Wii Music someday, but Captain Eric warned against it, so I probably won't.

I don't even own ANY version of Guitar Hero, but when I saw that I could get this with just six proofs of purchase from various Kellogg's cereal---including ones I actually eat, like Frosted Flakes and Pops---I just had to bite. (Literally. Because it's cereal. Oh man, that was a good one!)

Many bowels of deliciousness and just a few weeks later, it arrived:

Fact: Politicians cannot play video games for beans.

Connecticut Senator Gayle Slossberg (D) is now looking for gamers to help her reach the "Rape Scene" within Grand Theft Auto IV. Slossberg stated in an inverview with The New Haven Advocate that she finds this scene quite the negative impact in raising our children, and is going to use the "Rape Scene" to fuel her arguement in getting better warning labels placed on game boxes. Or rather, she would use the scene, if only she had the ability to make it that far in the game.

Senator, you clearly aren't tring hard enough. I got to the Rape Scene not 15 minutes into the game! I mean come on! All you do is punch out an army of cops, get the rest of your Mexicans Buddies across the border, kill a baby, go bowling with your cousin, and then you get to the Rape Scene! I mean, really now! I know you have little time on your hands, what with your ultra-special political voodoo you need to perform to get through daily life, but the least you can do is find the infomation you need to make your arguements valid! I mean, if you're not raping someone within an hour of gameplay, you really have no hope as a gamer, much less a human being.

Mario, travelling on a Yacht? What an elitest bastard. He'll never become president.

Nintendo released today its summer lineup of titles in North America. In addition to the forthcoming Super Mario Sluggers (which out a major media blowout at GameTrailers yeserday), and some... hidden picture... thing... Two other titles, Wario Land: Shake It, and Kirby Super Star Ultra were revealed to be a part of the lineup as well. While I've never been much of a Kirby fanatic, I can safely tell you, with all of my manlyness in check, THAT I AM PISSING MY PANTS IN EXCITEMENT FOR A NEW WARIO LAND. YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE WARIO LAND 4? SEVEN LONG YEARS.

There really is a god, after all.

Finally, tonight, there's a nice little freebie for you Gutiar Hero III players on the PS3 and 360 tomorrow. Even though the merger between Antivision and Blizzard is still months away, the engaged couple are still exchanging gift to each other to make their comming union all the more special. Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain's "I Am Murloc" will be the third cross-franchise music to be featured in GHIII. (If you've been keeping track, themes from Halo and God of War have already been offered as freebies to GHIII players. In addition, "Still Alive", from Portal, was added to Rock Band as well.) While I have absolutely no idea what this theme actually sounds like since I tend to stray away from World of Warcraft like a fat kid avoids carrots, I do love my free downloadable content, and everyone knows my sexual lust for crossovers. The day we find Guitar Axes in WOW is both very near and quite far off.